11 Things Only People From New Jersey UnderstandNew Jerseyans find these truths to be self-evident (especially the one about "Joisey" rage).
1. Going "Down The Shore" In The Summer Is The Greatest Thing--Ever
Source: Flickr user Tom BingerEveryone from New Jersey knows that there are no "beaches" here--there's only The Shore. And you sure as heck don't go down to the shore, you go "down the shore." If you say it any differently, no one will let you forget it. My sister-in-law still doesn't let me live it down and I said "going down to the shore" once...by accident...three years ago.
2. There Are Certain Foods You Can Only Eat When You're In New Jersey
Source: Flickr user James LoeschThe list of things I have to eat when I'm in New Jersey, and try not to eat anywhere else are:
- Salt Water Taffy
3. The Mere Mention Of Taylor Ham, Egg, And Cheese On A Roll Activates Four Different Regions Of Your Brain
Source: Flickr user istolethetvTaylor Ham is the single best brand of pork roll available on the market. Taylor literally invented it. For this reason, it is not appropriate to call it pork roll--you must call it Taylor Ham in homage to John Taylor. Calling it anything else is disrespectful to the master. Unfortunately, half the state doesn't realize this and that's why...
4. You Either Grew Up In North Jersey or South Jersey, And There's A Huge DifferenceWhen someone asks you where you are from you don't respond with New Jersey--you're either from North Jersey, South Jersey, or, if you ask my wife, Central Jersey (Although the existence of such a "Central Jersey" is debatable). There are a ton of regional differences between North Jersey and South Jersey. It's why knowing which exit you live off the parkway actually matters. And it's why South Jersey and North Jersey don't normally speak to each other. It's also why...
5. You Have Sworn Allegiance To Wawa Or Dunkin
Source: Flickr user USAG-HumphreysNorth Jersey has Dunkin and South Jersey has Wawa. These are the places you stop at when you're going down the shore to make the experience complete. It's Jersey's midnight energy supply. I have to note that it's very fitting that South Jersey loves Wawa. It's just another example of their extreme Philadelphia envy, to go along with their bizarre allegiance to the Flyers and the nagging need to call sandwiches "hoagies." Eww.
6. You Watch Out For Eggs And Toilet Paper On Mischief NightI didn't realize this until I got to college, but basically no one else in the country has a name of the night before Halloween. Bizarre. I don't know how teenagers in those states get out their angst on their neighbors. It's kind of like that movie "The Purge" only with eggs and toilet paper. I think you need a night when it's socially acceptable to toilet paper the nasty old hag down the road. Otherwise you'd end up like Florida or Long Island--and who in their right mind would want to live like that?
7. A Jughandle Has Nothing To Do With Pouring MargaritasFor some stupid reason the higher-ups of the New Jersey Board of Highway Control have decided that a left turn lane is too simple to be useful. So instead we are left a relic of times past, the Jersey Jughandle. It's so powerful that even Chris Christie couldn't get rid of it. But that's not the least of NJ's unique driving laws. There's also the fun fact that you don't need to pump your own gas, ever. In fact, if you try, the guy at the station yells at you for trying to save him some work on a cold day. They will literally arrest you for trying to be a decent human being. That's Jersey.
8. Every Out Of State Idiot Who Pronounces It "Joisey" Incites Our Uncontrollable Rage
Source: politico.comI get to college in California--basically my first time out of the state that wasn't visiting family or going to a Yankee game--and the first thing my roommate says to me is, "Oh, you're from Joisey." I had the only appropriate reaction: "No God dammit! No one says that! Do I sound like I'm from Staten Island?" So yeah, just say it how it's spelled. New Jersey. Jeez.
9. The Best Time To Eat At A Diner Is 2 a.m. When You're Drunk With Your Best Friends
Source: Flickr user Chief_HuddlestonThere's only one type of non-chain eatery that has consistently good food at any time of the day and that's a New Jersey diner. I remember going to the Chester Diner at 2 a.m. after working the late shift at the Chester Movie Theater and meeting friends for a gyro and pancakes. And you know what, they would taste exactly (amazingly) the same if I went at 2 p.m. on a Sunday after church. It's a marvel of modern Americanized Greek technology. Diners are just the best. Period