1. Florida Panhandlers Are A Fishy Folk
Source: Flickr user Rob Briscoe
For Florida Panhandlers it’s not just fishing, it’s a lifestyle. Everywhere you go you will see folks fishing—off piers, floating in kayaks, or fly fishing. In bays, bayous, and off beaches. You get the picture.
2. When It Comes To College Ball, Florida Panhandlers Just Can’t Agree
Source: Florida Gator Football via Facebook
In the Panhandle, you are either a Florida Gators fan or a Florida State Seminoles fan—never both.
The rivalry goes back decades but the tension still runs strong. Fans on both sides taunt one another by making fun of team gestures (the Gator Chomp and the Tomahawk Chop). Post-game fights have ensued and referees’ lives have been threatened. All in the name of football.
3. People In The Panhandle Have No Love For Love Bugs
Source: Flickr user jimmy thomas
Those nasty little pests that do their dirty business in public invade Florida every year and muck everything up. Literally.
Sure, they only last a month but the damage is done. You kill one and a hundred assault you. They are impossible to clean off the car. They cover everything and will not leave you alone. You can’t escape them.
4. Folks In The Panhandle Could Live On Delicious Publix Subs Alone
Source: Publix via Facebook
The subs at Publix are given revered status in the Panhandle. The subs come loaded with Boar’s Head meats and cheeses, crisp veggies, and divinely-baked bread.
Panhandlers literally count the days since they last supped on a Publix Cuban, and wait with baited breath until their next opportunity to savor the Holy Grail of sammies once more.
5. Florida Panhandlers’ Feet Are Made Of Lead
Panhandlers drive like they’re on a NASCAR raceway. For them, speed limits are arbitrary, as are stopping on a yellow and signaling for turns. Honking is just another way to say hello and who says a rolling stop doesn’t count at stop signs?
6. To People In The Panhandle There Is No Such Thing As Too Much Sun
Source: Flickr user Whatsername?
In a place nicknamed “Sunshine State,” one wouldn’t think there would be a need for tanning beds. But alas, Panhandlers love to get their fake ‘n bake on.
In fact, there is one tanning salon for every 50 square miles—there are more tanning salons than even McDonald’s in Florida!
7. To Panhandlers, Gators = Shrugs
Pretty much everyone in the Panhandle has had a gator sighting in their backyard at least once. Some gators have even been busted taking a dip in backyard pools.
But for Panhandlers, it’s no sweat, just a normal occurrence. Their backyards are basically swampland so it’s kind of to be expected.
8. Panhandlers’ Other Car…. Is A Boat
Everyone in the Panhandle owns a boat. Or if they don’t, they have a cousin, friend or brother who owns a boat. And who could blame them, with the Florida coast as their backyard?
A Panhandler’s life is spent on the water. Everyone here starts out swimming before they can even read. And they will swim anywhere—the ocean, canals, lakes, retention ponds, if it has water they are in it.
9. Folks In The Panhandle Prefer To Feel The Wind On Their Piggies
Source: Flickr user quinn.anya
Panhandlers all have thong tans…on their feet, that is.
Every good Floridian has at least five pairs of flip flops, and would be at a loss to scrounge for socks in their drawers, which generally have more bathing suits than pants, and this suits them just fine.
10. Panhandlers Are Fearless In The Face Of Mother Nature
Source: Florida Memes via Facebook
Living in hurricane central, they are constantly bombarded with hurricane threats, warnings, and scares. (And then there’s the whole gator-in-your-backyard thing). More than a few hurricanes have hit over the years. But that doesn’t deter Panhandlers. They dust the dirt off their shoulders, start rebuilding, and keep on keepin’ on.
Did we miss anything? Tell us what you think of Florida Panhandle in the comments below!