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30 Reasons You Need to Move to the Mushroom Kingdom

We think Mario's world is the best in all of video games, and here's why.

Randy Nelson

Content Manager

116 articles, 53 comments

1. The Plumbing Services Are Exceptional

Source: shirtoid.com

You’ll have not one, but two plumbers who are willing to drop everything and attend to your needs any time, day or night, 24/7/365. Even better, they go above and beyond normal plumbing-related tasks, tackling kidnap victim rescue, star retrieval, and more. They’ve got some negative Yelp reviews—mostly for broken brickwork and missing change—but you can’t beat their dedication.

2. You Can Quit Your Job

There’s no real reason to work in the Mario World since there’s money lying around pretty much everywhere you look. Not just any money, either, but gold friggin coins (and sometimes blue or red ones).

3. No One Will Judge Your Style

Seriously, you can dress like a raccoon or a bee and people won’t even bat an eyelash.

4. Dinosaurs Are Still Alive

Even better: They’ll actually let you ride them.

5. Mario Kart Is Totally Better Than NASCAR

What’s that? You can go really fast while turning left? Oh, that’s cute. Now, why don’t you try racing across lava while having turtle shells and giant bullets fired at you. Beware the Blue Shell!

6. Ghosts Are Real

Did I say real? I meant they’re real jerks. Well, they’re also real, which means you don’t have to watch any of those horrible ghost hunting shows where people pretend to see ghosts. Mario World is lousy with Boos.

7. Here’s Where To Find Lots of Them

I’m sure Luigi won’t mind you dropping by his mansion for a visit. Just be sure to call first—he scares easily.

8. There’s Always Awesome Music Playing

Can you imagine your entire day being set to the Mario soundtrack? Just imagine the world 1-2 music playing every time you go into an underground garage.

9. Anyone Can Be A Hero

It doesn’t matter what kind of shape you’re in—even the portliest of folks can jump two stories (minimum) and break through brick walls with their bare hands in this world. A related benefit it that no one has to go to the gym, so that will save you a few gold coins each month.

10. The Weather’s Always Perfect

Maybe I should say that the weather’s always the same in each part of the world. Then again, the time of day never changes, either. So, if you have S.A.D., you’re set.

11. No One Dies Here

Source: brutalgaming.com

You can fall into lava and come out unscathed. ‘Nuff said.

12. Princess Peach’s Castle is Just Peachy

At a whopping 453,060 square feet, the seat of power for the Mushroom Kingdom is probably the most iconic building in Mario World. It also serves as a gateway to different lands through magical portraits in its rooms. No biggie.

13. Bowser’s Castle is One Awesome Abode

You can practically take a tour of all the palatial homes here.

14. Sunny Isle Delfino is a Vacation Paradise

Catch some rays at the Mario World’s most popular tourist destination. Just be careful for the oily goo everywhere. We’re sure Mario will be through to clean it up any minute now.

15. Cars? Here We Use Canons

Need to get around fast? Hop in a canon. They’re a perfectly acceptable form of transportation here.

16. Warp Pipes and Warp Whistles, Too

Speaking of transportation, you don’t want to miss out on Mario World’s most popular form of it: warp pipes. Usually, when you step into a large, strange pipe somewhere, you’ll find a hobo sleeping. Here, you’ll be whisked away to someplace else. Or, if you’re on the cutting edge, you can pick up a warp whistle and play yourself away. Then there’s always the Star Road…

17. There’s True Universal Health Care

Feeling under the weather? If Dr. Mario has taught me anything, it’s that pretty much any sickness can be cured by matching same-colored pills. There’s no co-pay, either. It’s actually more of a co-play.

18. Pasta Land is Delicious

You might have seen this place on the “Super Mario Bros. Super Show”. It’s where pasta grows. What do you mean pasta doesn’t grow where you live?

19. The Great Pizza Debate

While I’m on the topic of food, you can decided who whips up the better pie: Mona’s Pizza or Pizza Dinosaur. I like Mona’s personally, but the Dinosaur’s does have some bite.

20. Food Not Lawns

Food’s not just something you eat in Mario World; it’s an actual place. There’s an entire Pudding Continent, and a Waffle Kingdom, too. Nom, nom, nom.

21. The Mushroom Library’s Staff is the Best

It’s no big whoop to have a library where you live—but one with a robotic Bowser dishing out math quizzes? Now that’s special.

22. Sports Are a Huge Deal Here

Most big cities have a stadium or two. Mario World has like a million of them and an entire Baseball World. Better yet, the stadiums have cool names, like Thunder Island and Stormship Stadium, not some lame corporate branding.

23. Speaking of Which…

There’s an entire island that’s a tennis school, Royal Tennis Academy.

24. Super Mario Mini World: Small Theme Park, Big Fun

Sports not your bag? Visit this theme park populated by miniature robotic Marios instead. Bowser takeover-free since 2007!

25. The Thrilling Spine Coaster is a Rush

Rides in Mario World are not limited to theme parks. You could walk into a cave and find a crazy dinosaur skeleton to ride like a roller coaster. Hey, why not?

26. The Produce Here Is Better

Your current town might have mushrooms, but do they make you giant and give you superpowers when you eat them? What’s more, does your town have sentient mushroom people?

27. Go Spelunking in the Vanilla Dome Caves

One of the highlights of Dinosaur Land, the Vanilla Dome is a giant cavern with sparkling jewels embedded in its ceiling. It’s like looking at the night sky indoors.

28. Two Words: Donkey Kong

No, not the game… the gorilla. He lives here, in a treehouse on the couldn’t-be-better-named Donkey Kong Island.

29. Starbeans Cafe Has the Best Coffee

Does your daily Starbucks fix give you more hitpoints? The joe from this shop does. I guess that’s what happens when your barista is a scientist (E. Gadd from “Luigi’s Mansion”).

30. The Star Festival Is a Rare Wonder

If you happen to be in Mario World on this special night you’ll be in for a show as the citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom celebrate a comet that passes overhead once every hundred years. Pieces of it often break off and fall to earth, but you needn’t worry about getting starstruck since no one really dies here.

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posted on: September 23, 2013
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