In the bathroom… In the shower … With the lights on…
I’m not playing a game of Clue, I’m describing the potentially best places in your house to have sex. Personally, I’m partial to the living room, but apparently I’m in the vast minority of Americans.
How do I know I am in the vast majority of Americans? Because we, the Saturday Night Scientists here at Movoto Real Estate, decided that it was about time someone surveyed the nation to find the answer to one of the most burning questions around: What is the best place to have sex in your house?
To my surprise, and disappointment, most people prefer the good ol’ bedroom. Boring, but true across age, gender, and education. Unless of course you have a graduated degree, then the odds are a little higher you will be more open to sex outside of the bedroom.
Before we get into the juicy details, let’s take a look into how we found out the preferences of Americans.
The Saturday Night Science Methodology
We surveyed over 340 Americans from across the country about their favorite place to have sex in a house. (We are a real estate company, so we didn’t really want to hear about the thrill of doing it in the car outside the movie theater when you were 16.)
We found our participants through Amazon’s Mechanical Turk. Each participant was paid $.10 to fill out a five question survey. The questions were, in order:
- How old are you?
- What gender are you?
- How much education do you have?
- What Zip Code do you live in?
- Where is the best place to have sex in a house?
If your dirty mind isn’t sated, check out the full data set at the bottom of the article. There aren’t pictures, but I’m sure you’re a creative person. (Cough, cough, you are on the Internet).
Now let’s get “down to business” and analyze exactly who our participants were and where they like to have sex in a house.
Our lucky participants
- 63 percent of participants were male
- The average age was 29. The oldest was 69 and the youngest was 18 (No one underage was given the survey)
- 98 percent graduated from High School, which is far higher than the national attainment rate of 88 percent
- 38 percent have a Bachelor’s Degree, higher than the national attainment rate of 31 percent
In summary, we had young, educated people taking our survey, but it turns out they are just as boring as your mom and dad.
The Best Place to Have Sex
I mentioned it earlier, but the best place to have sex in a house, as one respondent put it, is “on a bed, behind a closed and locked door.” The door part may be a little overboard, but 51 percent of our respondents said that the bedroom was the best place to have sex. The second best? The bathroom. Here’s the exact breakdown for all respondents:
- 51 percent Bedroom
- 16 percent Bathroom
- 14 percent Living Room
- 11 percent Kitchen
- 8 percent Other
The response to the question was free form, so we got a varied set of responses. We used
Saturday Night Science, i.e. common sense, to group like answers together. For example, “rug in front of the fireplace” became “Living Room” and “in the shower” became “Bathroom.” One of my favorite responses? “Living room while watching tv.”
America is so romantic.
Men are From Mars and Women Are From… Mars?
Being a 26-year-old male, and after informally surveying my wife and some of her friends, I assumed men and women would have a very different response to this question. It turns out, on average, they don’t. Accounting for statistical differences, their responses were exactly the same. If anything, women liked having sex outside of the bedroom more than men, but only barely: 52 percent of men prefer the bedroom, while 48 percent of women prefer the bedroom.
As I sit here trying to understand the philosophical consequences of our results, it strikes me that the typical Reddit user might not be as crazy as we think. Given that 60 percent of our respondents were educated, 20- and 30-something males, they are the stereotypical Redditors. I think we might all be blinded by selection bias. In normal English, we remember all the really ridiculous stuff that floats around on Reddit, but ignore the fact that 99 percent of it is really pretty tame. Just a thought I thought I’d share.
The More Educated, The More Freaky
I went to a great college, so I have a bunch of friends that are PhD candidates. In all honesty, this result isn’t actually that surprising now that I think about it. It turns out only 38 percent of respondents with graduate degrees think the bedroom is the best place to have sex, the lowest of any education bracket. I guess you have to be a little eccentric when it comes to life when you are trying to prove how smart you are. That, and academics tend to lean more liberal.
The most prude education bracket turned out to be respondent’s with only a bachelors degree. Over 62 percent of them responded that the Bedroom was the best place to have sex.
Some Original Responses
Presented without comment:
- On an armchair
- Front porch swing
- Stovetop while the girlfriend is making dinner.
- Against the wall
- On the roof
- Anywhere, we like it everywhere
- Anywhere but kids’ rooms
- Roommate you hate’s bed
- Washing machine
- Back deck under the stars
The Article I Never Thought I’d Write
Well that was probably the most fun I’ve had writing an article for work. I guess the economics degree pays for itself with experiences like this. Feel free to add your opinions in the comments. The best thing about the Internet is that no one knows you’re a dog, just keep it PG-13.