1. Seattleites Love the Seahawks Like a New Seattle Mother Loves… Well, The Seahawks
There really is no love greater or pride stronger than that of a Seattleite for the Seahawks. Did you know they won the Super Bowl this year? Of course you did; but, in Seattle, children, infants, and probably even dogs know who won that game. (The Seahawks.)
2. Smokin Two Joints Before They Smoke Two Joints… And Then They Smoke Two More
Seattlelites love pot. In 2012, Initiative 502 passed in Washington, making pot legal for recreational use, and making what every Seattleite was already doing in the first place okay in the eyes of the law. Oh, and making it the third highest place in the country. Remember that story about cops handing out Doritos to people at Hemp Fest? That was Seattle.
3. Maple Bacon Donuts: The Perfect Dessert for The Previous Point
The Daily Dozen Doughnut Company’s famous maple bacon donut is the perfect pairing for I-502 and a glass of milk. Plus, these guys are completely local, and the only thing a Seattleite loves more than a donut with bacon on it, is a local donut with bacon on it. Note: Be prepared to wait in a long, drool-inducing line.
4. Putting Your City’s Healthy Options to Shame
Okay, despite the previous point about maple bacon donuts, Seattle really is a very health-conscious city. There are tons of healthy food options, tons of outdoor activities, lots of crossfit boxes, and nearly 500 options for yoga.
5. Lying About the Rain
Okay, Seattle, what is this about: Whenever you’re talking to someone who isn’t from the area, you complain about how much it rains; how very terrible and dreary it is. But when you’re talking to a fellow Seattleite, it’s suddenly “Oh, it’s just drizzling,” “What a lovely, if slightly damp day!” Who are you trying to convince?
6. Wearing Raincoats; Umbrellas are for Suckers
No matter how very “drizzly” it gets in Seattle, you’ll know the locals by their raincoats, and the tourists? They’ll be the ones with the umbrellas, waiting in line outside of the original Starbucks. Speaking of Starbucks…
7. Telling Everyone How Much You Hate Starbucks… Wait, Is That a Starbucks Card in Your Wallet?
Seattleites love to hate on Starbucks– after all, there are plenty of other local coffee shops that make a better cup of joe– but as much as you’d love to spite this corporate giant, sometimes, you just need a frappucino.
8. Mount Rainier—and Of Course The Knowledge That At Any Moment It Could Wipe You Off The West Coast
If you think I am exaggerating, put your eyes on this: “Mt. Rainier is considered to be one of the most dangerous volcanoes in the world… Because of its large amount of glacial ice, Mt. Rainier could potentially produce massive lahars that would threaten the whole Puyallup River Valley.” For those of you who don’t know, a lahar is an extremely destructive, fast-moving flow of mud or debris, known to destroy anything in its path.
In other words, Rainier is like that gorgeous but slightly crazy person you dated last year. Its beauty is mesmerizing, you never know when it will blow, and yet, you can’t get enough of it.
9. Absolutely Losing Their $#** When the Sun Comes Out
You also know the weather is nice in Seattle when, suddenly, out of nowhere, locals are smiling, you can see uncovered parts of skin—arms, necks, maybe even a little leg. The birds are singing, people are busting out in song, dancing with strangers! When the weather is nice in Seattle, if only for five minutes between showers, people really celebrate it. Perhaps a lesson we could all take away from Seattleites.
10. Magic Through Soundwaves
KEXP is a radio station run by the University of Washington, but judging by the way Seattleites gush about it, you’d think it was capable of transmitting the cure for cancer and unicorns through sound waves.
11. The Midnight Cuban Press Sandwich at Paseo Because OH MY GOD, Just Look At the Picture
Paseo’s Midnight Cuban Press Sandwich will forever haunt your dreams, making every other food that you eat just a little less satisfying, because, alas, it will never be so good again.
12. Practical Footwear, Because Hiking Happens
You’ve never pressured me into wearing heels when I felt like wearing flats. You’ve never shamed me for wanting to wear tennis shoes all day long, even to a fancy dinner. And you helped me discover rain boots. For this I love you.
13. Pike Place Chowder. It Is CHOWDER in a Bowl of BREAD.
Sweet baby bread puff, just… look at the picture.
14. A Ferry System That Makes Your City’s Look Like A Daycare Carpool
Okay, sure, you don’t have a ferry system in your city; but if you did, Seattle’s would probably beat it. Their ferry system is better than most city’s buses.
15. Keeping It Local With Beer
Seattle likes to keep it local, especially when it comes to their brews. And with options like Dubbel Entendre, Imperial Rye IPA, Saint Florian IPA, and Bellevue ESB, it isn’t too difficult to do so.
16. Keeping It Really, Weirdly, Specifically Local with Neighborhoods
There is Seattle pride, and then there is neighborhood pride (interestingly, not much Washington pride). If you live in Queen Anne, you love Queen Anne; If you’re in the Hill, so is your heart; and if you’re in Northgate… well, that sucks.
17. The Donald Trump Of Seattle Dining, Tom Douglas
Okay, minus the comb over, that smug face, and you know, the whole Donald Trump persona; Tom Douglas is just as innovative in the restaurant scene as Trump is in being an a hole–I mean, in the world of real estate. Tom Douglas is the owner of such Seattle places as Lola, Assembly Hall, Seatown, Dahlia Lounge, and many more. He is practically a local celebrity; a god among men; a hero. Speaking of heroes…
18. Phoenix Jones: Seattle’s Vigilante Crime Fighter
The only thing cooler than Phoenix Jones kicking butt and taking names in Seattle would be if somehow, a real life Tick joined his force. (Seriously: Seattle, make this happen.)
19. The Creepy Sculpture That Puts All Other Creepy Sculptures to Shame
The magic of the Fremont Troll is this: it breaks down those prideful neighborhood barriers in Seattle, even if just for those few minutes it takes to climb over his terrifyingly large fingers, and wonder, “What if he comes alive at night?” (Is that just me?)
20. Keeping it Local With Music
Seattle gave birth to Nirvana, Jimi Hendrix, Pearl Jam, Heart, and today, the place is just buzzing with new artists like Young Evils, XVIII Eyes, Neko Case, Macklemore, Case Studies, My Goodness, Lemolo, La Luz, Norey, and many, many more.
21. Recycling and Composting– And KILLING Anyone Who Refuses
If you’re in Seattle, you better be sure that apple core goes into compost and your kombucha bottle goes in the recycling. What happens if it doesn’t? Well. They kill you.
22. Secretly Adoring Pike Place Market
Yes, tourists love Pike Place, but not as much as Seattleites secretly do. I mean, where else can you get all of your fresh produce, sample about a million different types of honey, go shopping for gifts, and get a Lowell’s fish sandwich in one stop? Just don’t mention the fish throwing. Tourist.
23. Sporting So Many Tattoos, You Make the Illustrated Man Look Normal
Next time you’re walking around in Seattle with a friend, try playing “I Spy,” only play it with tattoos. EX: I spy the grim reaper riding a unicorn wearing a tiara. Chances are your friend will spot the tattoo nearby, on at least one person.
24. Facial Hair: Ironic, Lazy, Practical… If You’ve Got It, We Love It.
Hipsters go for the staches, hippies just don’t shave, and the practical folk grow beards, because, well, it’s cold.
25. Creating Fashion Trends Out of Sheer Laziness
It’s pretty easy to be hip when your city’s trends are still leftover from the ‘90s. The only thing Seattleites love more than a pair of docs is pairing them with some rad loose-fitting flannel.
26. Knowing They’re Smarter Than You Are
Seattleites are smart; in fact, this is one of the smartest cities in the U.S. It is the home of Amazon, Cray Inc., Microsoft (Redmond), Big Fish Games, and all of the geniuses that make these companies run.
27. Being a Bunch of Nerds
If you think this point and the previous go hand in hand, well, you’re wrong. You can be smart without being a nerd, and you can be a nerd without being all that smart. Seattleites just happen to be both.
28. Udub: The Hogwarts of the Pacific Northwest
Not only is the University of Washington a great school, but it is one of the most beautiful campuses I think I have ever seen in my life. I don’t care who you are or what stage of life you’re in, if you walk into UW’s library and don’t feel like you’ve just walked into Hogwarts to study for your OWLs, well, you need to read Harry Potter. I mean, c’mon, you guys do everything else fromt the ‘90s…
29. Warming Up With A Steaming Bowl of Pho Ba
These guys may have recently dropped the “C” from their name (why… ?), but they certainly didn’t lose any of the flavor.
30. Being Able to Call Seattle Home
Seattleites may secretly love to hate on Starbucks, they may lie to themselves about the weather, and sure, the fish throwing at Pike Place is like totally lame; but all that aside, Seattleites are proud of their home. They love their unique fashion sense, they love The Mountain, and yes, somewhere deep inside, they do love the rain (sorry, I mean drizzle). But most of all, they love being able to call this gorgeous place home–especially during the summers.