1. The Weather Is Perfect
In Los Angeles it is 80 degrees and sunny almost all the time. Through San Francisco’s fog, on the other hand, you’re only aware that the sun is out because of the icon on your weather app.
2. Angelinos Push “Start” to Climb
Los Angelinos do most of their climbing on StairMasters and ellipticals. In San Francisco, however, climbing hills is just a part of daily life—whether you like it or not.
3. Beaches Are Made for Swimming
A nice day at the beach in L.A. involves something San Franciscans might not be very familiar with: swimming. Yes, while San Franciscans are huddled against the wind in jeans and sweatshirts on the beach, but down in L.A. people (in bathing suits!) can actually get in the water.
4. Everyone Is Beautiful
Nothing personal, San Francisco, but L.A. really is the land of beauty. It is a place of sun-kissed, healthy, active young folks, where celebrities and super-celebrities alike can roam the streets and fit right in.
5. My Apartment Is Twice the Size and Half the Price as Yours
California is pretty expensive overall, but San Francisco is like a gold-plated principality inside of a state when it comes to cost. The cost of living in San Fran is twice the national average! All that just to live in perpetual drizzle? You guys are crazy!
6. We Brought You the Dude
Not only was “The Big Lebowski” filmed in L.A. and set in L.A., but the Dude himself, Jeff Bridges, is actually from L.A. San Francisco—you’re out of your element in this one.
7. We Have Driveways
For all of you San Franciscans reading this, let me remind you: A driveway is that thing in front of your house that leads into the garage. You know, where you put your car. And you don’t have to worry about getting towed or ticketed. Yes, it is nice.
8. There Is Space
You know that expression “you can’t swing a cat without hitting somebody”? In San Francisco, that’s true. L.A. may have a much larger population, but it is a lot more spread out. Also, San Fran, why are you going around swinging cats? Oh I know why…
9. San Francisco Is Crazy
I don’t mean that in the fun, “Oh, you nut!” crazy kind of way. I mean, the City by the Bay is chock-full of people who have clearly left their minds, not their hearts, somewhere far away from San Francisco. Just walk out your door and you’re bound to find someone screaming about ketchup, and yes, probably swinging a cat.
10. We’re a Quick Trip to the Magic Kingdom
In 30 minutes we can hop in our cars and be at the most magical place on Earth: Disneyland. In San Francisco, 30 minutes gets you to… Oakland. I guess they have magical fairy dust there too, though.
11. Mexican Food You Can Taste
We have Border Grill, Cemitas Poblanas Elvirita, Chichen Itza, and El Parian—just to name a few. Sure San Francisco has got some good Mexican food in The Mission, but it isn’t great. And you know what makes great Mexico food, S.F.? Spice. Look it up.
12. Mexican Food… In Mexico
What’s better than Mexican food in L.A.? Taking a short two-hour drive down the coast, and then actually grabbing some Mexican food in Mexico. Drive two hours south of San Francisco and you’re in…Salinas.
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13. Our Streets Are Clean
Okay, sure, maybe our skies are a little smoggy, but at least in Los Angeles you can walk down the street without having to worry about stepping in human urine—or on the human himself.
14. We Have Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles
Do you, San Francisco? Do you have a Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles? ‘Nuff said.
15. Healthy Options Galore
Los Angeles is the home to more health food stores, restaurants, juice bars, vegan, vegetarian, raw, paleo, any-trendy-diets-you-can-imagine-specialty spots than anywhere I’ve ever been. Sure, the famous Café Gratitude may have started out in San Francisco—but soon enough it came to its senses and moved to a better part of California.
16. The Dodgers
Don’t get too cocky about your current rank, Giants. The Dodgers have won the National League West 11 times, compared to your eight and we’ve advanced to postseason as the wild card twice. How many times have you done that?
17. We ARE the Movies
All over the world, Los Angeles is known as THE home of the entertainment industry. Movies, sketch writing, improv, television shows, fashion, modeling… it all starts here. Hollywood, baby!
18. Our Dogs Actually Like it Here
Not only are the businesses in Los Angeles super dog-friendly, with a number of doggy hotels, doggy yogas, dog beaches, etc., but our houses and yards are actually large enough for our dogs to spread their legs. Also, when our dogs walk down the street, they’re not confused by all of the (non-dog) smells.
19. We Have UCLA
Everyone—and I mean everyone, all over the world—knows about UCLA’s amazing film school. But they also have solid fine arts, business, engineering, public affairs, sciences, the Law School… Okay, really, they are ranked among the top 25 in more majors than I can even list.
20.You Won’t Get Mugged in Silver Lake
Silver Lake is to L.A. as the Mission is to S.F. It is young, artsy, unique—but in Silver Lake, you don’t need to worry about that guy on the corner—he’s just a hipster. In the Mission, though, he’s probably trying to steal your wallet.
21. We Have the Greek Theatre
Nestled in the trees and hills of Los Angeles, OUR Greek theatre is the BEST music venue in Cali. It may not be the original– but it is certainly the newer and improved. How many Russell Brand movies have been made about the Berkeley Greek Theatre, SF?
22. We Have the Getty Center
The building and the grounds around the museum are a work of art on their own—and that’s before you even walk in the doors. Compared to the Getty, anything in San Francisco is just a gallery. The Getty has western art dating all the way back to the Middle Ages, whereas San Francisco’s Museum of Modern Art—is closed for construction.
23. We Bring the THUNDER!
Remember thunder, San Franciscans? Remember rainstorms? Remember how nice it is to feel cozy inside while the rain splatters on the roof and thunder and lightning shakes the earth?
24. We Have a Night Life
Los Angeles is known all over the world for its nightlife—we have clubs like the discreet and super swank Winston’s and the Hideout. There is the Viper Room, Spider Club, and the Standard. There are late-night spots like Karma Lounge, Circus Disco, and King King… What is late night in San Francisco? Midnight?
25. Even Our Name Is Better
Honestly, which would you rather visit: The City of Angels, or… Fog City? That’s what I thought.
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