1. You Might Starve In The Mornings For A While
I know this is going to sound crazy, but you’ll quickly discover that people virtually everywhere else have some horrible eating habits and breakfast is the biggest crime. People actually eat things like cereal or muffins to start off their days. The point is, they don’t eat breakfast tacos.
2. Lone Star Won’t Be In Every Fridge That You Open
No one outside Texas really appreciates the quality of a Lone Star. Okay, a lot of Texans don’t, either. But they show enough respect to get it anyway because it’s the Lone Star brew.
3. Even Worse, Neither Will Shiner Bock
Now, a Shiner Bock? That’s a quality beer. But kiss it goodbye because it’s not an easy find.
4. Don’t Worry, You’re Not Invisible
People walk right past you without acknowledging your existence. They don’t say hello or wish you a good day. And when you wave hello, they look at you like you’re crazy. It’s not you, it’s just that no one is as friendly as they are in Texas.
5. People Think A Few Days Of 90 Degrees Is A Heat Wave
And you’ll never stop reminding them that they have no idea what real heat is. But just remember, it’s not their fault for being so thin-skinned. Not everyone can be as tough as a Texan.
6. Barbecue Everywhere Else Is Just Blasphemy
You won’t have any problem finding “barbecue” in most places outside of Texas. But you won’t find anything comparable to Texas barbecue. It’s all just a cheap imitation that will leave you unimpressed.
7. You’ll Find Yourself Saying “You Call That A Steak?” Too Often
Everybody loves a good steak. But everyone else’s interpretation of a good steak will be vastly different from your own.
8. Friday Night Lights Is Just A TV Show To Everyone Else
They really don’t seem to get that it’s completely based on a real life. All of your “Clear eyes, full heart, can’t lose,” chants will just echo into the abyss.
9. You’ll Start Annoying People With All That Texas Pride
It seems downright wrong, but you won’t find another place filled with people who share the same amount of pride that you hold for Texas.
10. Spring No Longer Means A Sea Of Blue Bonnets
Even though you’ve always loved them and have looked forward to them blooming against the side of the highway every spring, you won’t realize just how awesome they really are until they’re gone.
11. Cars Suddenly Look So Small
Where are all the giant trucks and rigs everywhere? It starts to feel like driving through a Mario Kart raceway at times.
12. Other States Are So Tiny
You can be in and out of some states in two or three hours and that never stops feeling like, “…this can’t be right.”
13. State Fairs Are Just “Meh”
Other state fairs might as well be glorified carnivals, with their merry-go-rounds and cotton candy. Not a Big Tex or a corny dog to be found anywhere.
14. Everyone Expects You To Wear Cowboy Boots And Hats
When you tell outsiders that you’re from Texas, the first thing they might ask you is where your cowboy hat and boots are. Little do they realize, not every Texan walks around like Cowboy Bob. But, if you do, you’ll find the lack of places that find your attire acceptable disheartening.
15. Not Only Can You Not Find Kolaches…
But no one will even know what you’re talking about.
16. Everyone Assumes This Is Your Football Team
The Dallas Cowboys are Dallas’ team. And understandably so. But oddly enough, everyone seems to completely forget about the Texans.
17. Pack A Lifetime Supply Of Whataburger Ketchup With You
You’ve always known there’s something special about the spicy ketchup from Whataburger. But you’ll never know just how special until you can’t get it anywhere. So do yourself a favor and pack a suitcase full of the stuff. Or have parents cool enough to send you care packages.
18. Bring Some Lime Salt, Too
And use a handbag big enough so you can bring it everywhere with you. Sure, you’ll get some funny looks. But what’s more important – your reputation or having some lime salt handy?
19. Everyone Will Assume You’re Much More Skilled Than You Are
In their eyes, being a Texan means you can ride a horse, shoot a gun, or fix anything with a roll of duct tape.
20. No One Will Get It When You Say You Left Your Country To Come Here
Texas Secede? They’ll probably laugh and say you’re so funny. You’ll take that as a sign to start pretending like you actually were kidding even though you weren’t.
21. Ask For Mineral Water And You’ll Get Anything But This
RIP, Topo Chico. You will be missed.
22. When You Order A Coke, They’ll Bring You A Coke
Soda? Pop? It’s all just so confusing. Why can’t everyone just call it Coke the way it should be?
23. You’ll Have To Ask Restaurants If They Have Dr. Pepper
Brace yourself for this bomb, but there are a lot of places outside of Texas that don’t even serve Dr. Pepper.
24. The Stars At Night Are Dim And Small
Get used to the skies being a lot darker and infinitely more dull.
25. December Is Really Cold
So is January and February. Winter time will be a major sock to your system almost everywhere else. Time to buy yourself a winter coat.
26. Their Water Parks Are Underwhelming
No Schlitterbahn? No dice.
27. Other People Think Ben & Jerry’s Is An Acceptable Alternative
They’ve never experienced the bliss that is Blue Bell ice cream. Pity them.
28. Tea Everywhere Else Is A Complete Joke
Sweet tea or unsweetened tea. Depending on where you live in Texas will determine which you prefer. But it doesn’t matter when you leave because everywhere else gets it all wrong anyway.
29. Country Music Is All That Pop Stuff
If you’re lucky enough to end up in a Southern state that appreciates the importance of real country music, you’ve just won the lottery, because they’re few and far between once you leave Texas.
30. Swimming Pools Never Quite Live Up To Swimming Holes
Your friend’s in-ground pool will never quite live up to a dip in Jacob’s Well or any other swimming hole.
31. There’s No Place Like Home
Everyone has told you this your entire life about living in Texas and why you shouldn’t leave. You were just too stubborn to listen.
What do you miss about Texas? Tell us in the comments below!