BLOG
The lighter side of real estate
 
 

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

You never realize just how grand it is until you leave.

Kris Norton

144 articles, 0 comments

1. Showing Where You Live On Your Hand Will Make Sense To No One

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Michigan Made

And it doesn’t even work because nowhere else is shaped like a mitten.

2. And Everyone Will Just Think You’re Pointing To Detroit Anyway

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Tumblr

Detroit gets all the attention. You’ll even run into people who have never even heard of Grand Rapids, which makes you question a lot about the public school system you just moved into.

3. Prepare For Everyone To Ask You Where The Rapids Are

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Reaction Gifs

And the look on their face when you tell them there are none. In fact, prepare for a lot of questions.

4. Yesterdogs Are So Yesterday

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Foodfoodilovetoeatfood.wordpress.com

While everyone in Michigan is flocking to Grand Rapids to get their hands on a Yesterdog, you’re leaving. What’s wrong with this picture?

5. Snow Doesn’t Fall As Grand

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Grandrapidsmm.com

Depending on how you feel about winter, this can be a good thing or a bad thing. But when you move away from West Michigan, you leave behind the phenomenon of Lake Effect Snow, responsible for making Grand Rapids one of the top ten snowiest cities in the country. Only a handful of other places actually experience it, which means less shoveling but also less snowboarding and snowmen.

6. Everyone Will Think You’re A Beer Snob

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Experience Grand Rapids Facebook

And, let’s face it, you are.

7. But Say Goodbye To All The Beer You Love

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Experience Grand Rapids Facebook

What happens when you leave Beer City USA? Imagine a world with no more Dirty Bastards, Nitros, or All-Day IPAs. Say goodbye to Founders and au revoir to flights at Perrin Brewing Company. It’s all very sad.

8. And There’s No Drinking In Church

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Brewery Vivant Facebook

As if it’s not bad enough that you’re leaving behind all those incredible beers and breweries, but now you can’t even drink in church? Brewery Vivant it ruined you.

9. Starving Artists In Other Cities Just Starve

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: ArtPrize Facebook

Sorry to break it to you, but there’s no $200,000 jackpot for ArtPrize outside of Grand Rapids. Most other cities don’t take careers in art as seriously as Grand Rapids does. Looks like you’ll have to trade in the art smock for a desk job.

10. Gerald Ford Gets No Love

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Gerald R. Ford Presidential Museum Facebook

Gerald Ford gets no love anywhere outside of Grand Rapids. You can plead his case all you want, but it never changes. Which brings into question that whole public school issue again.

11. But There Are Ways To Score Some Street Cred

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: ohmymag.com

If you’re looking for the quickest way to make outsiders understand how cool Grand Rapids is, Gerald Ford might not work but Taylor Lautner, Gillian Anderson, Andy Richter, and Anthony Kiedis just might do the trick.

12. You’ll Miss Having Holland In Your Back Yard

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Tulip Time Festival

The wooden clogs, the authentic windmills, and all those beautiful Dutch colors… You think this kind of awesomeness exists everywhere? Well, outside of the real Holland, of course.


13. Tulips Will Make You Homesick

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Tulip Time Festival Facebook

Year after year with the Tulip Time Festival will leave you getting nostalgic for home every time you see one. Don’t worry, though, you can tell everyone it’s just your allergies acting up.

14. So Will The Polar Express

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: crossfitinvoke.com

Every Christmas, you’ll feel the need to remind anyone within earshot that Chris Van Allsburg, author of the Polar Express and Jumanji, is a Grand Rapids native.

15. Hope You Didn’t Care About Ice Fishing

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Experience Grand Rapides Facebook

…Or winning the Championship. There aren’t many other places to go where it’s as big as it is in Grand Rapids.

16. Gardens Won’t Impress You

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Frederik Meijer Gardens & Sculpture Park Facebook

No matter how intricate or beautiful they are, no garden will ever live up to Frederik Meijer Gardens & Sculpture Park, mixing sculptures and horticulture together to create an unmatchable wonderland.

17. You’ll Be Devastated By Shopping At Ikea

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: adashofcinema.wordpress.com

You’re not in Furniture City anymore and it starts to show. Not that there’s anything wrong with Ikea, of course, but it’s nothing remotely close to the West Michigan furniture stores you know and love.

18. You’ll Have A Hard Time Convincing Everyone How Great The Music Scene Is

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Reactions Gifs

Considering most people know very little about Grand Rapids, it’s a tough sell. But with concerts at The Gardens, the awesome Grand Rapids Symphony and Picnic Pops, Jazz festivals and Jazz At The Zoo… There’s no getting around the fact that the next place you go to has a lot to live up to.

19. You’ll Never Find A Slice Of Pie You Like

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Experience Grand Rapids Facebook

All those fresh apples, blueberries, strawberries, and peaches you’ve been so accustomed to having on hand, thanks to all the local farms around the city? Gone. And you can’t swing by Sandy Bottom Berries to pick your own, either. So, just face it. Produce and pies now suck.


20. Prepare For Everywhere Else You Go Feeling Like Woodstock

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Gif Soup

Grand Rapids has become slightly less conservative in recent years. And by slightly less conservative I mean that three people voted for Obama. Okay, I’m kidding. It was at least seven. But despite the increasing liberal population, Grand Rapids is notoriously so conservative, most other cities will feel like you just were transported back to Woodstock.

21. The Only Whitecaps In Your Life Will Be On Your Head

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: West Michigan Whitecaps Facebook

You’ll still be able to find baseball, obviously, but no more lounging out on the lawn to catch your beloved Whitecaps. And you’ll quickly discover just how overrated –and overcrowded- major league teams are.

22. And The Only Fish Viewing You’ll Be Doing Is At An Aquarium

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Flickr user ellenm1

They just don’t make fish ladders like they used to. Or, at all, actually. Just another awesome little quirk unique to Grand Rapids.


23. A Burger From Anywhere But Stella’s Is Just Meh

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Stella’s Lounge Facebook

And after being crowned as the Best Burger in America in 2012, how could you even expect to find something better?

24. You Can’t Find That Quaint Small Town Feel Just Anywhere

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Experience Grand Rapids Facebook

Many places try but most will just come up short, especially if you’ve lived in Grand Rapids all your life.

25. Other Cities Don’t Care About Your Happiness

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: LaughFest Facebook

At least, not the way that Grand Rapids does. Try finding something like LaughFest anywhere else where you can catch a headlining comedian and also try to break the world record for loudest group laugh.

26. Fall Just Isn’t As Much Fun

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Experience Grand Rapids Facebook

And it’s definitely not as beautiful. Even though Halloween will be undoubtedly warmer, be prepared for your new city to turn into quite the pumpkin at the stroke of midnight.

27. You’re Going To Miss Out On Cool Stuff You Don’t Even Know About

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Flickr user Rachel Kramer

With its innovation, awesome beer, growing foodie scene, new things to do around every corner, and so many people moving in, it seems like Grand Rapids just keeps getting grander every year. And you’re going to miss all the fun.

28. Why Does Everyone Seem So Old?

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: MeanGirlsGifs.tumblr.com

When you leave Grand Rapids, you might start to notice that everyone suddenly seems a lot older. That’s because it’s probably true. The average age in the Rapids is 30 years old, making it a hotspot for young, eager workers invested in their futures.

29. Don’t Get Sick

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: hipwee.com

You’re used to having such an impressive collection of world-renowned medical facilities and services around every corner in Grand Rapids. The medical communities in other places just aren’t created equal. So, hold your breath and don’t touch anything and you should be okay.

30. There Really Is No Place Like Home

30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Grand Rapids

Source: Meme Crunch

That’s especially true when home is Grand Rapids. You’ve probably heard it your whole life, of course, so it’s not exactly something no one has ever told you. But you just don’t realize how true it is until you’re hundreds of miles away and just want to come home.

What do you miss about Grand Rapids? Tell us in the comments below!

Facebook Facebook Like

posted on: March 2, 2015
40,559 views, 7 comments

7 Comments

  1. Gone West

    I gladly left 4+ years ago and here’s what I’ve found:
    1. You stop using your hand to tell people where you’re from because only idiots need visual clues.
    2. Detroit get’s all the attention because it’s got a tragic story and Grand Rapids is boring.
    3. No one has ever asked me where the rapids were, no one cares.
    4. Yesterdog sucked, even when I was drunk. Grand Coney had a better coney dog and far better service.
    5. Excessive snowfall made this list. lol. I wore shorts to work today.
    6. Other places in the US have great beer too. I don’t miss Founders or the ever-crappy service at Hop Cat.
    7. Beer culture is everywhere.
    8. Only Grand Rapids people think drinking in a renovated church is cool. Brewery Vivant’s beer is OK at best.
    9. Most of the winners from ArtPrize aren’t from Grand Rapids, and the global art community thinks it’s a cheap gimmick.
    10. Gerald R Ford was barely a President. Hell, he was barely a Vice President.
    11. Every city in the US has a list of B-list celebrities that now live in New York or LA.
    12. I don’t miss Holland, MI. or the dutch dogma that spewed from it.
    13. Tulips? You’re really straining for content huh?
    14. See item #11.
    15. By ice fishing I think you meant to say day drinking.
    16. FMG was cool once, when I needed to do something with my visiting parents.
    17. If only Furniture City furniture was affordable for the 99%. #luxuryitem
    18. GR had a crappy music scene and the Van Andel Arena is a crappy venue. Jazz and Blues Rock suck.
    19. Have you heard of Salinas Valley, CA.?
    20. Both God and the GOP are better off far behind you.
    21. Class A baseball is as fun as a… 4889 calorie burger.
    22. Go to the fish ladder if you want a reminder of how ecologically devastating the Grand River has become.
    23. Are you still trying to sell us on Grand Rapid’s uninventive food scene?
    24. You could try an actual small town or Portland OR.
    25. Why must every event in GR include a world record break attempt?
    26. Fall… do you celebrate you neighbor buy a new car too. Is life that sad?
    27. Or you could travel the world and get some culture..
    28. That’s only because of all the colleges located there. Isn’t brain drain a major issue there?
    29. I’ll give you this one as long as you’re insured.
    30. Hopefully your home didn’t get foreclosed on back in ’09.

  2. ethan

    Franks meat market on the west side!

  3. Terrie Adcock

    I’m back after a 20 year absence…… got homesick! I missed just seeing friends and relatives when I was out and about. We live in such a friendly place! So happy to be back home again. Loving the changes in GR and ArtPrize!

  4. S VanTubergen

    Still too cold. I’m glad to be in Texas.

  5. Kellilou

    I miss the colorful autumns and the crunch of the fallen leaves, plus that wonderful autumn smell. I miss walking in the snow late at night and feeling perfectly safe doing so. I miss the OLD (1960’s-1970’s) GR Public Museum and the OLD John Ball Park/Zoo. I miss Farrel’s Ice Cream House and Crazy House Popcorn and the off-broadway shows and the PowWow’s in Riverside Park. I miss the grass and the trees and the water — nature all around. I miss weather — real weather. Weather that changes every 5 minutes throughout the day! I miss Redline Hotdogs and the Bridge Street Library. I miss driving out to Lake Michigan, dune rides and watching the sunset. I miss 4th of July fireworks on the lawn of the Ford Museum. I miss the apple blossoms, fresh cherries and beautiful flowers. I miss all the haunts of my childhood, most of which have been bulldozed in the name of progress :( I miss looking in the windows of Wurzberg’s and Herpolshimer’s at Christmas time. I miss fresh fruit that TASTES like fruit (everything here tastes like cardboard in comparison). I miss the my favorite Victorian house just down the street from my parents’ old place. I miss the art festival and going to the children’s museum with my nephew. I miss doing genealogy research at the downtown public library. I miss going to church with people I’ve known since I was a kid. I miss doing donuts in the parking lots in the winter and climbing trees in the spring and summer. But most of all, I miss my parents, both of whom are now deceased. I miss my siblings and nephew, my aunts and uncles, and my cousins. I’ve been gone for the better part of the last 30 years, but GR will always be home.

  6. John

    4th of July celebration downtown in the Grand

  7. Carla Cook

    I moved from GR in January 2000. I really miss swimming in Lake Michigan and the sunsets. Also miss all of the maple trees and the fall colors. Haven’t seen brilliant color since I left. I now live near Indianapolis, IN.

 

Leave a Reply

Name:
Email:
Comment:

 
x