1. Buffalonians Are The Most Justifiably Bitter Sports Fans In The World
Cleveland sports fans are contenders for the title, but fans of Buffalo’s teams can’t open their mouths without ranting about the injustice of being a Buffalo supporter. Forget about the fact that Scott Norwood missed a 47-yard field goal (AKA, “Wide Right”) that lost the Bills the only winnable Super Bowl of the four in a row they competed in; Buffalo was on the wrong side of two of the most unforgivable officiating calls in the history of playoff sports: “The Music City Miracle” and “No Goal”. If you’re a a Buffalonian, it’s enough to make you want to shout… and not in the way you’d like to.
2. No, Seriously Bro… They’re Bitter
NHL legend Brett Hull even had the nerve to take to Twitter one decade after the fact just to troll Buffalo Sabres fans over “No Goal”—his clearly illegal goal that cost Buffalo its opportunity to win a Stanley Cup championship. You can debate the silliness of the rule all you want, but it was definitely illegal at the time. And it’s not like anyone was able to come to the city’s defense, because the greatest Buffalo Sabre of all time, Dominik Hasek, rudely bolted for Detroit, joined forces with Hull and promptly backstopped the Red Wings to one of the two Stanley Cup championships he won since leaving Buffalo. And all of this was before the fans were forced to buy jerseys with a giant slug on them masquerading as a real logo.
3. How Bitter Are They?
Did I mention that you can’t even talk about the Buffalo Bills’ successes of the 1970s because their greatest player ever, O.J. Simpson, may also be the most famous person to ever be found “not guilty” of double homicide? How about the fact that the former Buffalo Braves left the city and eventually became the L.A. Clippers—just one more cool thing about Los Angeles? How about the fact that Buffalo built a huge baseball stadium, successfully packed it with fans for the Triple-A baseball team in expectation of being awarded a MLB club, and they still haven’t gotten one? Man… it’s rough being a Buffalo sports fan.
4. Buffalo Is Polish. Really, Really Polish…
… or at least they like to think they are. As far as major cities go, Buffalo boasts one of the largest populations of Poles in the country, especially for a major population center. The Dyngus Day festival in Buffalo is one of the largest ethnic festivals in the nation, and successfully convinces even non-Poles that being Polish at least once a year is a lot of fun.
5. Buffalo Is Basically No Different From Canada, Yet Hates It For No Reason
Buffalonians are convinced the feature that practically defines Canada for many people in the northeast— Niagara Falls—really belongs to them. The funny thing is, for all intents and purposes, most travelers would have a hard time telling where Canada ends and Buffalo begins were it not for the bridge they have to cross. Buffalonians consumed so much of Canadian beer company Labatt’s beer that the company moved its sales and marketing headquarters to Buffalo. Apparently, Labatt can’t tell them apart either.
6. Buffalonians Especially Hate Toronto…
Part of this hatred is proximity based, some of it is based on sports rivalries, and some of it is the feeling of being held hostage. How would you feel if the owner of your favorite football team kept threatening to move the team to the city you have such a bitter rivalry with? What makes it worse is Bills fans have to watch while two of their yearly home football games are now played in Toronto… which can’t even sell out the seats for the games.
7. …But They Hate Being Grouped In With New York City Even More Than They Hate Toronto
Buffalonians are culturally distinct and far more down to earth than their in-state brethren from New York City, which makes it especially annoying when outsiders assume that Buffalonians spend all their free time in NYC, as if the two cities were only half an hour from one another. It actually takes two hours longer to drive from Buffalo to New York (six hours) than it does to drive from Buffalo to Detroit through Canada. However, the dirty little secret here is that Buffalonians will still sing “Empire State of Mind” and pretend the “New York” in the song somehow applies to them.
8. Buffalonians Will Debate You On Upstate New York Boundaries
To a New York City resident, anything northwest of Manhattan is “Canada”. If you live outside of New York state, you probably consider anything outside of New York City to be “Upstate New York”. However, Buffalonians will kindly (and sometimes not so kindly) explain to you the “Upstate New York” label is reserved for the central part of the state, and definitely does not include Buffalo, which is in “Western New York”. And if they could figure out a good way to separate themselves from Rochester, they’d probably do that too.
9. Buffalonians Are Chicken Snobs And Will Give You The Stink Eye For Saying “Buffalo Wings”
Hot wings are considered to have originated in Buffalo’s Anchor Bar and to have been perfected by Duff’s, and their popularity has spread throughout the world. But, if you call them “Buffalo Wings” in Buffalo, you probably don’t belong in the city. In Buffalo, they’re “wings”… period. And even Buffalo Wild Wings learned the hard way not to push its knockoffs in the town that gave birth to perfect chicken.
10. Buffalonians Love Their Snow And Will Laugh At You For Complaining About Fewer Than 18 Inches Of It
Buffalonians don’t want to hear about your snowy winters and cold temperatures, unless of course you’re from Syracuse. That’s because Buffalo gets legitimate lake-effect snow, and when it hits, it can be brutal. Buffalo regularly competes for the “Golden Snowball Award” for the most yearly snowfall with Syracuse and three other Upstate New York cities (even though it’s not really “Upstate”, right?).
11. Buffalonians Feel Guilty About Their World Fair That Killed A President
Presidential assassination was once a semi-regular event in the United States, with three occurring within a forty-year period. President William McKinley was one victim of these assassinations after he was shot at the 1901 Pan American Exposition in Buffalo. Two things have helped to virtually erase the damage this might have caused to Buffalo’s reputation. One is the fact that McKinley’s assassin, despite being born in Michigan, was viewed as a Polish anarchist rather than a domestic terrorist. The other is that McKinley’s successor, Theodore Roosevelt, was one of the greatest U.S. presidents and purest examples of sheer manliness that ever existed. Come on, remember that moustache?