1. Our Fog Beats Your Smog
I’ll take a gray sky of fog over a brown sky of smog any day. At least when our blue sky is obscured, we don’t have to stay indoors wearing a gas mask.
2. We Don’t Have to Drive The Three Blocks to the Store
San Francisco is designed for walking; L.A. is designed for driving. Plain and simple. Though through this simple difference in layout, the implications are awesome—and by awesome, I mean awesome for SF.
3. It Is a City
San Francisco is actually one unified city. Sure we have our different neighborhoods, each unique and delightful in its own way—but L.A. … L.A. is more like a conglomerate of not-so-unique cities held together by highways. Speaking of highways…
4. Your Traffic is Terrible
Sure, a lot of San Franciscans commute out of town for work, but at least we don’t have to sit in bumper to bumper traffic for two hours while we do it.
5. And You Have Terrible Public Transportation
On a recent trip to L.A. I needed to get across town from Santa Monica. My options: Take a cab that would cost me well over $50 or take several buses that would take me nearly two hours. Here we have BART, we have Muni, we have cabs on every block, we have Lyft cars, Sidecars, UBER, bike sharing… Sure, you might get yelled at by one of the crazies, but at least on our buses, you’ll get yelled at while you’re heading toward to the correct destination. Plus, you might run into Mario.
6. We Are the Future
San Francisco is the tech hub of the United States, if not the world. And as we improve and expand upon technology, making movie-going and big-budget Hollywood films less and less relevant… Well, sorry L.A. This one may not have a happy ending for you.
7. We Have a Better Music Festival Scene
I will see your Coachella Music Festival, L.A., and raise you our Jazz Festivals, Mozart Festival, Outside Lands, Treasure Island, the Hardly Strictly Festival… And you know, Coachella isn’t really even that close to L.A., so there’s really no contest.
8. We Have The Giants
I’m not saying that the Giants are better than the Dodgers… Because with more total wins, head-to-head wins, National League pennants, and with more World Series titles in franchise history—I don’t have to say it. The facts speak for themselves.
9. Who Needs A Treadmill?
Who needs a sterile, indoor gym environment filled with stair masters and treadmills when you have the nearly vertical hills of San Francisco? Walk half a mile to get to the gym and you’ve already done twice the work just climbing hills. Just one reason that in SF…
10. Everyone Is Beautiful
Let me rephrase that: Everyone is naturally beautiful in San Francisco. Los Angeles certainly has us beat in bleached blondes and spray tans—but here in SF, Silicon Valley is used to describe our tech—not our breasts.
11. Redwoods Over Desert
Not only are San Franciscans naturally beautiful, but the nature throughout and surrounding the city is as well. Muir Woods will make you wish you lived in the forest, views from Land’s End will take your breath away—even just walking through Golden Gate Park will make you think you’ve inadvertently stepped into Jurassic Park. And that’s in the center of the city!
12. Our City Has Charm
If S.F. and L.A. were people, San Francisco would be the mature, charming, Frank Sinatra-esque older brother to L.A., while L.A. finishes up college in between frat parties. San Francisco is a city of unique restaurants, boutiques, walking, and beautiful architecture. It is a city of stunning nature, a rich history, and culture. And most importantly…
13. Seriously, Your Traffic is Insane
So bad, it’s worth mentioning twice.
14. San Francisco is Friendly—Actually Friendly
I have never been to a city where it was so easy to meet people and make friends as it has been in San Francisco. Any time I’ve visited L.A., though, I’ve felt like I was suddenly thrust into the Hunger Games.
15. We are a Quick Trip from… Everything Else
You guys may be a short drive from Disneyland, but we are a short trip from all of the most magical natural wonders in Northern California, not to mention Alcatraz, Treasure Island, and all of the adorable towns that surround us, like a permanent entourage of nice fairies or something (like Navi!) There is Berkeley, Emeryville, Fairfax, San Rafael, all of Napa, Lake Tahoe, and on and on.
16. We Have the Best Chinese Food in California
L.A. might have good Mexican food, but when it comes to Chinese food, we have them beat. Just go to House of Nanking in Chinatown and you’ll see what I mean.
17. Gussie’s Chicken and Waffles
Gussie’s Chicken and Waffles is kind of like Roscoe’s in L.A.—a tastier, more refined, more sanitary version of Roscoe’s that is.
18. Our Dogs Love Us More
Sure your dogs might have bigger yards to hang around in while you’re at work all day, then battling traffic for two hours, but here in San Francisco, in many offices, we can bring our dogs along. And afterward, we can take them to parks—like this one. So I’m not saying that our dogs love us more… Okay, I am.
19. We have UC Berkeley
What is UCLA compared to UC Berkeley? Can your students even spell Berkeley?
20. We Have The Mission
Silver Lake is to L.A. as the Mission is to San Francisco. They’re both young, hip, unique, and arty areas in the cities. But there is one thing that the Mission has that Silver Lake doesn’t—it’s in San Francisco, not L.A.
21. We Have the Greek Theater
I’ve seen what you all call the Greek Theater, L.A. It’s cute. Really. But if you want a true once in a lifetime musical experience, head to our Greek Theater on the UC Berkeley Campus. It overlooks the Campanile, the Golden Gate and Bay Bridges, Mount Tampalpais, and all of San Francisco. You know who else likes our Greek Theater? The 14th Dalai Lama. Oh, and Phish. Phish played here too.
22. We Have the de Young
You don’t even need to go inside of the de Young to see the artistry of the place. The building itself is an architectural masterpiece, surrounded by redwoods, gardens, and miles and miles of trails winding through Golden Gate Park. Oh, and there is art inside too. That’s pretty cool.
23. We Don’t Have Flash Floods
You guys may have a pretty cool storm here and there, but I’ll take a lack of thunder over alternating between flash floods and droughts any day. Your weather is like a temperamental two-year-old, slinging around mudslides.
24. You Don’t Have Bi-Rite Ice Cream
L.A., you may have us beat when it comes to frozen yogurt and healthy alternatives—but when it comes to real, authentic, flavor—in ice cream, in restaurants, and yes, I’ll say it, in our cities and people themselves, well, we just use a more authentic recipe.
25. It’s Not L.A.
Need I say more?
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