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24 Things No One In West Virginia Has Time For

Sauceless hot dogs, fear of heights, and vegetarians: these are just some of the things no one in West Virginia has time for.

Erica Zane

Writer & Peace Enthusiast

30 articles, 0 comments

1. People Who Confuse Them With Virginians

A quizzical man

Source: Lee J Haywood via Flickr

It’s really simple to understand:West Virginia is not Virginia. They are not the same state, and the people living in each state couldn’t be more different from one another. So if you confuse a West Virginian with a Virginian, chances are they’ll stop making time for you.

2. If You’re A Mountaineers Fan, You Won’t Have Time For Herd Fans (And Vice Versa!)

Two football players during a game

Source: Facebook User WVU Football

West Virginia is all about college football, however the state is split between WVU Mountaineers fans and Marshall University Herd fans. Regardless of which team you root for, you’re most likely not going to be making much time for one another.

3. Onions

Green onion soup

Source: atl 10trader via Flickr

Ramps are onion-like veggies that are delicious and everywhere. You don’t need onions when you have a million and one recipes that call for ramps.

4. “Sauceless” Hot Dogs

Hot dogs covered in chilli

Source: justgrimes via flickr

In West Virginia, you put “sauce” (which is basically chilli without the beans) on all of your hot dogs. A hot dog without sauce is really no hot dog at all.

5. A “Side” Of Coleslaw

Coleslaw

Source: hepp via flickr

As delicious as “sauce” is, it’s definitely not enough, you also have to pile a ton of coleslaw on top of your hot dog. If you offer a West Virginian coleslaw “on the side,” they definitely won’t have time for you.

6. People To Lazy To Climb Mountains

A group of friends hiking

Source: flickr user bjo

Climbing mountains is just a way of life in West Virginia—it is the Mountain State after all. And West Virginians are definitely mountain people, so either get climbing or get out.

7. Fear of Adventure = Waste Of Time

People cliff diving

Source: facebook user Bridge Day West Virginia

Whether you’re whitewater rafting, diving into a swimming hole, or base jumping off of the New River Gorge Bridge on Bridge Day, every day in West Virginia is an adventure. So if you have a fear of heights or a fear of the unknown, West Virginia probably isn’t the place for you.

8. The Word “Hillbilly” Is Not Well-Received Here

A man dressed as a hillbilly

Source: phunkstarr via Flickr

No one in West Virginia is going to make time for hillbilly jokes because everyone is tired of hearing about how the rest of America “perceives” West Virginia. Newsflash: The stereotypes are not true. Just because West Virginians are mountain people, it doesn’t make them hillbillies.


9. People Who Aren’t Friendly

A woman stands next to a cow
Source; Facebook user West Virginia wild and wonderful

West Virginians are extremely friendly and they basically invented manners, so if you’re going to be hanging out in West Virginia you better mind your Ps and Qs and get ready to make friends with every stranger you meet.

10. Vegetarianism

A hunter sits under a tree

Source: Facebook User West Virginia Hunting and Fishing

West Virginia is all about hunting—and eating—their meat. If you only eat veggies, West Virginia probably isn’t the place for you.

11. Rolls Without Pepperoni In

A pepperoni roll

Source: facebook user WV Pepperoni Rolls

West Virginians only take their rolls one way: With pepperoni in them. These delicious snacks are literally the best thing you’ll ever taste.

Warm bread + tasty pepperoni = heaven. It’s that simple.

12. Being Afraid To Take A Leap Of Faith

A man on a rope swing

Source: baileysjunk via Flickr

The swimming holes in West Virginia are not for the faint of heart or for people who just like to “dip their toes in.” You either jump in with a rope swing, or you don’t swim at all.

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13. Bikes That Aren’t Mountain-Ready

A man on a mountain bike

Source: Snowshoe Bike Park via Facebook

If your bike cannot go up a mountain, it’s probably a waste of time. After all, there’s no better way to get around in the Mountain State than with a mountain bike.

14. Being Anywhere But West Virginia In Autumn

A girl playing in leaves

Source: thesullys via Flickr

Why would anyone spend their autumn anywhere else in the world when they could be spending it in West Virginia? It is the most gorgeous state to explore in the Fall and you’ll never see more vibrant leaves in your life.

15. People Who Can’t Handle A Little Snow

A cross country skiier

Source: TrailVoice via Flickr

West Virginians don’t want to hear you complain about the snow. It snows like crazy here and everyone is totally prepared to drive in it, walk in it, play in it, and ski in it. You don’t mope in your house when it snows: you hit the slopes, go for a snowshoe trek, or build a snowman. Literally. Zero. Time. For. Complaints.

16. Actually Saying “You All”

A gif about y'all

Source: Giphy.com

In West Virginia, it’s “y’all” not “you all.” Who has time to pronounce the “you”?


17. The Rat Race

A man hiking during a sunset

Source: Jo Munday via Flickr

Life slows down in West Virginia: the people here like to take the time to smell the flowers, soak in the nature, and actually talk to one another. So if you’re not about taking time to really appreciate life around you, then West Virginians probably don’t have time for you.

18. Buying Fish At The Store Is A Big Waste Of Time

A couple fishes

Source: West Virginia Wild and Wonderful via Facebook

West Virginians don’t waste time at the grocery store buying fish: They just go out and catch their own. Who wouldn’t with so many awesome spots to go fly fishing across the state? Basically, fish is better caught than store-bought.

19. People Who Don’t Know Their History

A Civil War re-inactment

Source: Facebook user Harpers Ferry

West Virginians are proud of their history, and even more proud of their knowledge of history. So be prepared to answer every Civil War trivia question that’s thrown at you and visit a couple of civil war reenactments, or else prepare to be booted out.

20. Music Without A Little Twang

A band plays on a stage in West Virginia

Source: Scott C Curran via Flickr

West Virginia is known for its bluegrass and folk music scene, so West Virginians expect a little twang in the tunes. If the music lacks that classic West Virginia twang, Mountaineers will probably get bored pretty quickly.

21. Boring Drives

A road through the woods

Source: RonEskins via Flickr

West Virginians always take the scenic route, which is easy to do here seeing as almost every road in West Virginia could qualify as a scenic route! The gorgeous Highland Scenic Highway, or West Virginia Route 150, is one of the most beautiful drives in the country, so it’s easy to see why a West Virginian demands more from their road trip scenery.

22. Store-Bought Ice Cream

Ice cream in a waffle cone

Source: Facebook User Austin’s Homemade Ice Cream

Austin’s Homemade Ice cream in Ceredo is by far the best ice cream in the country and West Virginians are absolutely spoiled by it. So don’t be surprised if West Virginians turn up their nose at your store-bought ice cream.

23. Watching The Sunrise Anywhere But Dolly Sods

A family hikes

Source: Tribbles1971 via Flickr

Watching the sunrise at Dolly Sods inevitably knocks your socks off every time you see it. It’s just a view that cannot be beat.

24. West Virginia Definitely Has No Time For Haters

A woman by a lake

Source: m0229 via Flickr

West Virginia is a gorgeous state with kind, hard-working, adventurous, and intelligent people. So if you don’t have time to get to know the real West Virginia, then real West Virginians won’t make time for you.

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posted on: July 31, 2015
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